a siren screams at half past ten.

yesterday: i've decided life is too short to go after things that don't want you back. it's so easy to do that and not realize what's sitting right in front of you- "so if the answer's no, can i change your mind?"

hahah. reilly, you are the best!! i'm going to make you get a blog if it's the last thing i do. i guess late night talks on facebook are kinda our thang now. :D we might do a slumber party next week together.

today: so i had kind of a serious blogging plan going through my mind yesterday; in the yester-morning, things were just not that grand. i had to talk to my dad's lawyer about some legalistic things about my parentals' divorce [in other words, i had to take a stand on which "side" i wanted to be on]. i wish things would be simpler with marriage and love and children. i've already vowed to myself that i'm never going to do this to my children [if they ever exist, most probably not;], and that i'm going to get in huge fights with my future hubby to be, and also make sure i'm comfortable enough around him to poop. (i can't take entire credit for the poop deal; bailey helped me out with that one.) haha.

it just blows that after 18 years of living together as one family, now it's just been ripped in two. i haven't talked to my mom in two months now. i don't think this is ever the way it should be with a family. i guess i don't talk about it as much, but some part of me still refuses to believe it's happening.


does the pain of losing someone ever go away? do you just constantly get reminded of them in little ways, and does the sorrow ever leave? i heard your voice today, and for a moment, i couldn't breathe. i still miss you so much...


so around noonish yestahday, matt came over and loved me and paid for my lunch and loved me and also paid for my COD and loved me and rented a movie (oceans eleven!) and loved me and we watched it andd he loved me and took pictures wiff me. he's such a grand boy. i'm glad we got so much time together before he leaves for FL. girls, you should snag him up because he's going to be completely rich one day! (an IR, doncha know:)

my dad: go work at the nursing home. then if one of them really likes you and dies, they might leave you a huge chunk of money!
me: *snorting with laughter*

and then that night turned into one of the best nights i've ever known.
-quincy magoo's
-air hockey DOMINATION.
-swimming (in four degree water! ;)
-garth brooks
-unpasteurized milk
-giggling
-tickle wars
-disgusting pitchas
-massages
-giant hugs
-perfection
-and brian, who's pretty much a splendid man. =]


reilly, I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO THIS SONG. help.