selfish.

i am so, so guilty.

but is it so bad that i want to keep this good thing in my life, because i'm counting the seconds until it blows up in my face?

whatever. i know i sound like a child, but i'm keeping this bomb, even though i know i'll self destruct with it in the end. how melodramaticc.

suck it cowboys, i hate choo.
i'm cold.
the only thing that cheers me up about winter is cuddling with my boo.
pixar = :)
i realize that i have a huge apology letter to write to some of my friends, and i'm sorry, i'm sorry that i've been ignoring you and blowing you off. you probably won't even read this, but i just wanted to let you know...
this one person has become my life. and i know it's wrong, but it's so deliciously sinful to be consumed by someone you know is just as consumed by you.
i haven't talked to God in a long, long time.
blah, school.
FINALS is coming!
oh, i've fallen in love with sam bradford.
i love seeing my family again, but vinita isn't home anymore.
all i want to do is sleep. =]
drunk facebook messages- you know who you are. ;)
it's hard to focus on anything but him.

argh poopsie woopsie. since when did you completely dominate my life!?
i love you. :)

dwight, get out of my nook!

that's what she said, THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!

my days have been filled with homework, work, Chuck, The Office, taking vitamins, Pilates, apple juice, napping, Pixar movies, laundry, cold, and most notably, Corey Lowry. who, i must admit, has basically taken over my life.

ugh, i'm so tiredd. yeah, this isn't going to be so much an update as me typing tiredly on my almost-dead laptop.

school's going well. i think i'll only fail (aka get a B) one class this semester, and besides the fact that i seem to procrastinate everything homeworkwise, things really couldn't be more fantastic.

i love working at Ted's. i love the flirtatious guys there, the illicit snacking in the back, and the money. kaching!

committed life is working out well for me. there's something to be said about having a boyfriend who actually loves you. it was completely unexpected--finding this freshman year of college, and not all pleasant--but i honestly couldn't be more content. right now, he's completely right for me, and i'm so happy to say he feels the same about me. =] i'm lucky, not gonna lie.

tonight i'm staying up with corey to keep him company; he's got a math test in the morning that he's doing an all-nighter for. we'll see how far i make it- i still need him to carry my laundry basket up my stairs. =] gosh i love men.

well, seeing that corey takes up about 90% of my life, i'm glad this post was evenly distributed. :D

ily puffedo.

i have to wonder

if i just made the most horrible decision of my life.

now that i'm sick and dying, with ten tons of homework

i find i have time to blog again.

sirens are sounding outside my window, and the sound is keeping tandem with my pounding head. i briefly deliberated on using proper english (aka capitals) in this entry, before i realized i'm pretty much incapable of even typing out sense right now. auuuuuughhhhhh.

what a challenge it'll be tomorrow, to not skip pilates.

if i don't move, the only thing that hurts is my head. when i DO move, my whole body somehow manages to ache and creak through the motions. fascinating, the human body....and it's ability to wreak havoc upon your life. (yes. like i said, i'm not capable of making any sense.)

i wish i had my mommy down here with me. :'-( i miss herrr. (remarkably enough, i miss my mom when i'm sick and too much of a baby to take care of myself.)

hopefully corey can keep me awake so i can accomplish things tonight. hopefully i don't crash at the frat house like a nasty skank hooooo.

got invited to an SAE date party tonight! yay for connor, walks in the park, and coffee. =]
my big is awesome, and she is taking me to goddard tomorrow to get checked out for mono. yeeeyahhhhyuhh....?
all my silverware in my room is dirty and is most likely generating some sort of horrendously poisonous mold.
i really do have a crap ton of homework. and a test this week in philosophy, which i will most likely fail.
my comm teacher is awesome! and he came to talk to my sorority tonight about "relationships." i'm a ludic and a pragma. this is another class i will probably fail.

gosh. i feel like such a loser. and it's all because of this SICKNESS that attacked me from the water fountain at the game! COREY!! i'm going to kill you.

well. the throw up button in my body just got hit, so i'm saying toodaloo for now.

well, you still haven't left

in fact, you're becoming increasingly annoying, but whatever.

i have too many things to be happy about right now to let you ruin it.
-one of my ex-boyfriends is lookin' HAWT!
-my best frann is corey lowry. lol.
-my roomie left me brownies and i still have two left!
-the jonas brothers are awesome.
-i love my communications class. we're the shizz =]
-i've been up till three every night [not sure if that is a good thing]
-zach sent me a really sweet text!
[me: chinyew loves zachie!
him: i'm glad you do. you are an amazing girl.]
-i woke up for class today.
-corey is going to give me a john mayer ringback tone! yayy.
-my expo teacher is really nice and gave me pointers on everything in my life, basically.
-i am going to work out!! yess.
-i get to write a really interesting paper tonight about my heritage and food. and not to be a super nerd or anything, but i'm actually really excited about it! food is my favvvvorite.
-my iPod makes me look like an idiot when i walk the streets of norman. but i don't care, because i'm an attention whore and i like it when people stare at me.
-today, a hott guy whistled at me in my short shorts and tank top. lol.

things that suck:
-i'm really tired.
-i'm going to fail ted's tomorrow.

the good far outweighs the bad, gentle molestation=corey lowry, the end!

all i want is for you to LEAVE MY LIFE

and never show up, ever again.
is that really, REALLY too much to ask!?

messy sandwiches & unhealthy dp

you're the missing piece i need
the song inside of me
i need to find you
i gotta find you

=]]
yesterday, corey lowry and myself were together for a straight 13 hours. you think we'd get tired of each other, but i just keep finding new ways of creeping him out! it was the most unproductive day of my life, hahah.

me: i'm about to die of laughter!
him: i'm about to die of being creeped on.

i tell him poop stories. it's entertainment all around, except for him.

i've found that after i've met katie joby sasser, i've become much more exuberant via text. you're more likely to find !!!! and ALL CAPS when i text now. i personally find it displays an enthusiasm and joy for life, so sorry if you find that horribly annoying and think that i'm yelling at you all the time. (I'M NOT! hahah.)

thank heavens i changed my texting from 1000 to unlimited. i checked my bill the other day, and it said i'd already used 3000 texts! #$(%!?!? college is such a waste of money...

i'm not gonna lie. i'm scared of getting on that bathroom scale (even though i don't have one). this past week has been like food-fest for chin-yew. it's terrifying how much i consume in the safety of my dorm room, when i know no one's watching me. i'll probably be some hideously fat sea creature the next time you see me.

i've been rollin' to the jonas brothers lately. yes, i am obsessed. yes, i will defend them to the death. yes, if you get in my car, you will be horrified to see that i have invented dance moves and sing obnoxiously to all the songs (even if i don't know the words). [i'm working on it though!=] because of this, corey doesn't ever want to be seen in public with me ever again.

corey=sharkbaby.

I MISS JIMMY EPPZ!!

i honestly couldn't ask for better guy friends here. they take care of me in every possible way. thanks jakey, for buying my OU/chattanooga ticket! mmhmm. jimmy, for getting me a cupcake that i loved so much i saved in my fridge and just found yesterday night. joshieblondee, for writing expo papers with me till 2 in the morning. mikey, for taking care of me when i'm a tad bit wastey and being so sweet. reillzy, for my various random course packets and my bedd.

yup, and my girls are just too wonderful to even list.
sky is gonna be my bigggg though. she's gonna have me and makayla as twins. =]

disturbia is now a song of painful humiliation for me. don't ask.

i study EVERY NIGHT NOW! i might have said this before, but i don't think you know how terrifying this fact really is to me. and it's like, i'm not even a good studier. i usually start at 11 or 12, and get done anywhere from 2 to 4 in the morning. i'm not even going to mention the bad nights.

AND I HAVE TO GET A JOB! and i'm going to work at ted's!? a dreadful waitressing job that's going to take up all my time and kill me internally. i'm really second guessing myself here...sigh. and campus always has something going on, and i so badly want to get involved.

gosh, i'm so fricken weird....

anyways, i really intended this entry to be deeply philosophical and about how and WHY i was feeling the way i do right now about everything in life, but it just turned out to be a huge update on nothing. sorry if you read and were disgustedly bored! =]

off to study with joshie! =]