impatience is my forte

lucky to say, because i finally got tired of waiting around for that one guy today. maybe it's my new bangs that've given me the newfound courage, maybe it's the fact that one of my friends is in hospital with only 30% brain activity, maybe it's because i've finally decided that i've got to go out and grab some chances for myself.

i'm pretty set on who i want for my 25th kiss. i hope he'll be back to do it. i love him a lot, whether it was grudging admiration or sarcastic teasing, or wrestling each other until i almost died. we just...never really got the timing right.

just got iTunes. deliberating on limewire.

anyways, lots of rough and tumble the last couple of days. my world was turned to muck when i learned Erid Steele had had a wreck with his stupid motorcycle, and was now in the stupid hospital with a stupid horrible prognosis. i was so shell shocked at first that i just reverted back to acting normal, until some guy i didn't even really know asked if there was a reason i was sitting in a dark corner all by myself. then i broke down for about five minutes. god. stupid crying jags.

graduation is this friday. i wish i could be more psyched for it, but all i feel is a kind of weariness, and when, oh dear godz, WHEN is this OVER. give the grad speech, wait for some old fuddy duddy governor to give his commencement, walk across the stage to receive an EMPTY diploma (because, they mail those things out in the summer doncha know), and go party in tulsa until the early morning. and then, oh yeah, go back for two more bogus days the next week, because i definitely was not a good girl last trimester.

got some things figured out with two of my very good friends (kyle and ashton); i'm so glad they're finally "casually" dating! Erid, i wish you could still make fun of me and my fifteen year old...god, i miss you so much.

one of the teachers who has been the very best to me asked me to write her a recommendation letter today; she had won teacher of the year and had to send in a portfolio. i was touched and beyond honored to be one of the six to be asked (i think i was the only student, which made it all the sweeter!). she's taught me math for three years in high school, and been one of the most impactive (word? word? not a word?) teachers known to mankind. thanks mrs. skinner, you're incredible-but i guess you should already know that from the kick arse recommendation letter i wrote for you.

tonight i watched the last of season two's and the beginning of season three of scrubs. thanks for letting me lift these from you, jarrod. =] i think i'm starting to sound a little like dr. cox when i talk ("dear god, do you listen to yourself when you speak!?") but i'm sure that's all for the better since i think he's smokin' anyway. naturally, after i learned zach braff picks all the music for the show, that upped his hottie factor as well--but nothing will ever be quite as attractive as the arrogant, handsome man who secretly hates himself.

i am now quite content to wait for that 25th kiss. i'm glad i was cured from that ridiculous, childish crush, and while i'm anticipating my next kill with the usual blood smeared fangs and hooked claws, i'm content to wait for that as well.

well, right now i am. but, anything can change in 24 hours.

i'm wearing your old shirt that you unwillingly relinquished to me, and i never gave back. i'll see you tomorrow. i love you.